No left turn for you. Not yours.

Another bicycle commuting anecdote. This one is kind of funny and I promise that I didn't do it on purpose.

I was at 45th and Boundary, east-bound on 45th waiting to cross Boundary. I was looking north, trying to see if there was a break in the traffic. If there are only a few automobiles coming up the hill I will wait for them to pass before pressing the pedestrian-walk-button. Because I'm such a nice guy. Note however that if there is a mini-van in the group then I press the button immediately and repeatedly with a sneer on my face.

OK, so I'm watching south-bound traffic when I hear some honks from the north-bound traffic to my right. There's some dumbsh*t in a truck waiting in the left lane to turn left (that is, west) onto 45th avenue. This T-intersection is one of those ones that is "traffic-calmed" in such a way that right-turning cars may enter 45th, and cars turning right or left from 45th onto Boundary may do so. But left turns from Boundary onto 45th are prohibited. There is no sign; a sign would be redundant. You'd have to put your automobile through some elaborate contortions to accomplish such a left turn because of the shape of the concrete median.

Of course, if I hadn't been so considerate towards the south-bound traffic I would already have pressed the button, light would have gone yellow and this arsehole would have been hurtling down 45th avenue lickety-split, traffic-calming median be d*mned.

Looking back I don't know what I was thinking. When I saw the situation I reached for the traffic-control button; I guess I was feeling generous on this crisp Friday morning. I was willing to give this poor idiot a break. But it was too late. He gave up waiting. Quite thin-skinned, that one: just a couple of honks and he crumbled, probably simultaneously peeing his pants and pressing on the gas pedal to go straight through the intersection.

So there ya go, Vancouver. I inadvertently kept a weak-minded fancy-truck driver from speeding down a designated bikeway.

Mini-Vans

My lips got a little chapped on the ride to work today, because I was drooling all over myself looking at the bike in front of me. It was a steel Cramerotti road frame with a carbon fork. Disc brakes. Fully decked out in Campagnolo. These are my recollections, anyway. They may be incorrect because I was getting a little light-headed at the time.

This bicycle's rider (whose name I didn't get; we only spoke for a couple of minutes) told me that he had been hit by a car a couple of weeks ago. More specific: he had been hit by a mini-van.

This is not a surprise to me, nor would it be a surprise to my friend P. He doesn't ride a bicycle, but he does a lot of walking in the city and he has noted that mini-van drivers are completely insane.

Fast-forward to a later section of my commute, after the Cramerotti and I have parted ways (sniff). I'm in a residential area at the intersection of two Designated Bike Routes. I'm turning left around a traffic-calming circle. A mini-van approaching from my right seems to be planning to just not slow down at all and basically run into me. So I turn my head and try to make eye contact with the driver. Sometimes people don't see you and looking at them sometimes helps. Well, the driver saw me alright. He was glaring at me.

Note: he looked like he was about twelve years old. I find myself thinking this about many supposed adults I see. I think it means I'm getting old.

So anyway, I take the lane and gear down a couple of cogs and start riding relatively slowly. Heh. Yeah, I know I'm an a**hole, but I can't help it sometimes. He manages to pass me but I catch up to him two blocks later (I geared up) at a four way stop. Get this: when I get there he is being honked at by the cross-traffic because apparently he didn't want to wait his turn. So in addition to possibly having something against bicycles, this twelve year old is also a pretty sh*tty driver in general.

Then I did something that I promised myself I would never do again. Since this mini-van was sitting right in front of me, I knocked on the rear window. Sometimes this escalates things quickly and dramatically (that's why I am never going to do it again, I promise!). People react all out of proportion when the outside world interacts with their automobiles. It's weird. But the mini-van just drove away.

Somehow, without even really trying, I managed to stay within one block of this guy for about seven or so blocks, before he turned right. Here I am, on my heavy bicycle with a container of chili and a thermos of coffee (among other things) in my panniers, and this arsehole-in-a-hurry can barely open a 10 second gap.

This anecdote needs some closure. A-ha: I sent a big loogey at the very next mini-van I saw. The End.

A little over the top

Media release from VPD.ca:

Road Rage Incident
2007-07-12

July 11th, 6:30 p.m. - A Vancouver man is facing charges after a road rage incident in the area of Boundary Rd. and Kingsway. Officers in the area were flagged down by concerned motorists. It started when the driver of a black Audi cut off a pick-up truck. When they were side-by-side at a stoplight, the driver of the pick-up truck yelled at the other driver, who then got out of his car and began punching the driver of the pick-up truck. When the light changed, he got back in his car, but at the next stoplight, he got out and assaulted the other driver again.

Police arrived and arrested Ya Qi Wen, 28, who is now charged with mischief and assault. The driver of the pick-up truck, a 63 year old Vancouver man, suffered minor injuries.

So this 28 year old idiot goes through the whole effort of getting out of his fancy Audi, twice, to beat on a 63 year old man (who understandably expressed his righteous indignation at being cut off by a soon-to-be-confirmed idiot in an Audi), and he only manages to inflict minor injuries. My intuition about the people who drive these fancy cars in Vancouver is confirmed. Pathetic weaklings, every last one of them.